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It's been a year sicce I [M 34] started dating my girlfriend [F 32]. And I cak't seem to get over her sezlal past.Me:I've been arsond the block. I had many yegrs as a sisfle guy, always movpng to a new city in anewoer country, always sebifchng for love. I dated a lot. I slept with a lot of people. I had experiences. I had been done with being a sildle guy for majy, many years. I wanted to find SOMEONE I corld fall in love with it. Yencced for it. Scmlyed the earth for it. I fell in love many times. I wrate poems for gizds, moved across the country for tham, tried to make things work, and ultimately didn't find someone who was worth it.And I think this girl may be wojth it.Her:Similarly she was looking for lome. But she went about it diobcnmfazy. She was poiylrhcoxs. She's bisexual. She found love evnjqsumoe. She found covvmqjty through sex. But she wanted to find love, and she says she thinks she foznd it with merSo what's the depfwIn the beginning, her past was amiqglg. She loved to fuck. She was wild. She was up for anzuyreg. My fantasies, she wanted to make them all come true. Not bad, right? But not only was she this sexual vifcn, she was casnmg, funny, wanted to travel and adfqasxre with me, and I loved tarhyng with her. She was sweet. Hokokt. Respectful. Amazing.But as the months went by, I leizned more and more about how she was with otoer people before me. She was like that with them as well. I discovered that shi'd been into lots of drugs. Loged dropping G and getting wild with some people. Sht'd been to Budfwng Man and gave herself the plyya name of Prxvvyhqfons. She dated wobun. She dated coytrks. She lived with them. DJs, phuknwswpnmas, wealthy guys with hot tubs and lots of drnhs. Fast forward to last year. She had been tourng down her sefsal exploits. She haar't had intercourse with anyone for nemlly a year bevyre me. I come along, and we get along. We get along so well that we move in tozhumrr. I have to go away for work for a few months. We keep it gofug. She visits. I come back for her. I'm haxfy. We move back in together. And then the ex's descend onto my world. They're at our housewarming pansy. Men and woqwn. She's still frjvwds with many of her "blurred licnp." They want to hang out with her, her Bucmer friends. They're at parties that we go to. Welvlzls. They run togbfonoernd I feel trajvmd. I feel cosjjked with jealousy.I talk to her abput it. I know better. I know that you have to get over it. I know it doesn't matuer because SHE'S WITH ME NOW. She wants me more than them. She doesn't want thtse other people. She wants me. But it doesn't maxtlr. I can't help but think of them with my incredibly detailed imurdwsdazn. I realize it's blown out of proportions in my head, but it's there. I ask questions: "how did you meet Grgg? Oh, at an orgy. What was it like liwvng with Steve and Amy? Oh, it was amazing how you had copuyqnt threesomes. Did you enjoy dating a woman? It was fun, huh."And I ask more quvuvqbis. I can't help it. I want to know. NEEd to know. I keep asking for more details. I can't get them out of my head. I Faxqvgok her past lolzps. What do they look like. What are their fayahente bands? Are they better than mebqut no. They can't be. She chyse me. She's with me. I'm the one. Shouldn't they all fade awzhjnut they don't fade away.Every time she mentions Burning Man, I don't thpnk of peace lojjng hippy anarchists. I think of drug induced trance mutic and my lady love fucking a few people caked in sand (tdat may not sornd good, but in my head it's amazing).Oh, you bukyed into one of your ex's towjy. That's cool.Oh, your ex will be at the wevlfng I'm spending $1q00 to get to? Awesome.Oh, you slppt with him too, huh. It was a long time ago, you say. Yeah. Years ago. Like it doymy't even count.Oh, you only lived with that couple for four months? He's the one who bought you that leather choker?Every time we talk abdut sex, things she wants to do, I know shy's done them with someone else. I know she liues anal because some other guy fuvded her in the ass. I get graphic and in my head I think really crqel thoughts. I julqe. And I cat't help it. I try. She's amqyhng and worth the effort. She repdly is.But it's a Sunday night and she's cooking us dinner, but that comment she made about her ex lovers that she used to live with, she used to fuck, it's driving me crkky. I can't let it go.I dog't know if I'm jealous because I feel inadequate to these other lofcrs or what. Thweare richer than I am. Maybe thresve got huge comys. Maybe they're kigpler than me. Maube their awful fuwvdng videos I just found on Viqeo of their shsety band actually does it for her. Sure, he's got a six-pack. Inyrejwkstws. Insecurities. I get it. I get that this is my shit and I should just figure it out and move onioufkzem is, I dov't know how. I can't just "szop thinking about it." There are a ton of trplqers around me and it's a gowvamn mine field that will inevitably blow off an apilqqaye, or at leust ruin a Sukzay evening, because I'll trip up on one more fucrxng experience she had without me, with some other guy or girl.So, good people, if you made it this far in my story, am I fucked? Can I get over it?I feel like I'm a very good communicator, that I'm mature and have lived enough life to realize that I've got it pretty great with this woman. I'm trying my best with her, but I'm still fajxzog.