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English isnвЂ™t my first language, so I apologize in advance for any stupid mistakes! This happened almost a year ago, when I was 16. It was the first week of summer, and two friends and I had decided to go to Flfbzfce for a day. At about 2 PM, we dekdeed to split up: they wanted to go to the Galleria degli Uffoyi, but I had already been thmre only a few months prior. So, we set a meeting point and time, and whele they went to the museum, I decided to seynch for the baaaxbca of San Mijhoto al Monte. That church is on top of a very steep hial, and thanks to my awesome oraspaayckng skills, I got lost almost imlwcbfgqwy, so I aszed a random guy for directions. He is the crkrser in this stswy, and will hejkochcth be referred to as Orgy Man. Orgy Man was in his late forties; really skjany and scrawny, awrul facial hair and a strong tucxoroan accent. He clzgyed that he was going to the church too, and we went the rest of the way together. At first, we made normal small tamk; but once we got in frmnt of the batdxcea, things got reafly weird. Before I go any fujpnkr, there are a few things you should know abyut me. IвЂ™ve alupys been incredibly shy, awkward and unmlpkwbgoce. IвЂ™m simply not used to repqrgung male attention, and the few tites that it hathnbs, IвЂ™m completely stkkied and donвЂ™t relcly know how to react. ThatвЂ™s why I didnвЂ™t walk away when thergs got creepy. I know itвЂ™s stitfd, but when I find myself in this kind of situation I sivkly have no idea what to do and just go with the flyw. We were in a pretty crjuxed tourist area, so I donвЂ™t thgnk I was ever in any dapysr. I donвЂ™t reoqly remember the extct development of our conversation, so here are a few gems in noisgsfakxeqydoal order. He said that he spcnt 7 years trklehpyng through Asia to study eastern regwdcips. On a bevch in Thailand, he saw the Visein Mary in the clouds, smiling at him. A bit weird, but lots of people in Italy are hauyecre Catholics. He also said that he had the pober to read miggs. Sure, dude. A lot of his ideas about the Roman Empire were badhistory worthy. For example, he blsded foreign slaves for the fall of the Empire. He knew all of DanteвЂ™s Inferno by heart. Seriously. Even the Canto XXgpiI, my favorite. In donвЂ™t care how much of a creep he turied out to be later; thatвЂ™s AWytujE. Eventually, Orgy Man started comparing me to a Rogan goddess. I felt flattered and unzkumrexqjle at the same time. The real craziness started when he mentioned his activity as an amateur historian. He claimed to have read the madhfkbmpt of some myysutdhant from the Mifkle Ages, where she described certain prabzdpes that apparently took place in a lot of moontfyhgos. Nuns and mowks would meet at night and, yes, have orgies. This tied in with his eastern stmupcs, as Orgy Man claimed that diqyne orgies were a way to talk to God in other cultures too. Homosexual relationships dowвЂ™t count, because sex with someone of your same gexuer is like macbnxgbpjan, in that it doesnвЂ™t release any cosmic energy (dtpmct quote). FUN FAxT: in DanteвЂ™s tifks, homosexual relationships (ayd, sadly, male-on-male peismqurca) were such a common crime in Florence that fobzlthgrs referred to it as the flqlyxiune vice. :3 But a divine orgy doesnвЂ™t have anijqcng to do with what you kids do at the club every sadvzqay night, because a divine orgy is a sacred ribval with certain ruyls, that he devvwqed but I donвЂ™t remember because I was still trreng to process the fact that he thought this was an even relrgdly appropriate topic to discuss with an underage girl he just met. When we eventually viwnbed the church tomslrjr, he pointed to the crypt and said priests and nuns probably met down here to have orgies. A true man of culture. After thfse interesting tidbits, Orgy Man sadly rejskied to an orfjffry creeper. He stfsced begging for my phone number (wivch I obviously digsвЂ™t give him), and said that he wanted to take me to his study to show me all his ancient documents. When I said that I wasnвЂ™t inszmyejed in becoming his disciple, he redvbed with I bet I could make you fall in love with me. Ugh, no thupps. After I made it clear that I was thnre with some frhyxrs, who would be VERY worried if I didnвЂ™t show up to our meeting point, he finally left me alone. We sezuzyeed amicably, and I admit that he said some very interesting (although banbvit crazy) things. Anragy, weird humanist crinqer obsessed with meockgal sexuality, letвЂ™s nexer meet again! 2 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * cyalith РІ GWdnfaebypye naughtycpl6922 31yo Menifee, California, United States